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Things that pop out your head when you’re about to go to “la-la land” on zipro!

Perpetual sleeplessness is also called insomnia!
We- (meaning me) – fight the said problem with the following:
1.Yoga
2.Meditation
3.Sex
4.Peppermint Tea
5. More Sex
6. More Tea
7. More meditation and yoga
8. Realize that none of the above work and “I’m no Contortionist”!!
9. Walk around like a decrepit old maid and unable to bend
10. Realize I need to exercise and do yoga to fix the #9!
11. Perpetually thinking about sex
12. Counting Sheep!
13. Last Resort – Coleridge!
14. Write Poetic Porn and realize that it is completely counter-productive because it makes me horny which in turn makes me restless!
All of the above having been exhausted I was given a magical medicament called Zipro!
And while on said medication the things that come out of ones head right before one goes to sleep are as follows:
A true account of madness!
In times of adversity, we face an inane fear.
Change – like unexpected waves of motion.
He said not to care too deeply and
That is oh so easy!
I spent so long giving! Every minute, Every day
Every hour, Every week
It is time for selfishness and want, and need.
In the exuberance I got injured but,
In said exuberance I found freedom.
He’s wrong. I do not think I’m beautiful.
But I am one of a kind.
I am the one and only, trapped in lonely ,
weaving, ceaseless caves of ice.
Of never-ending turmoil and disdain,
For nonchalant, uncaring, ignorance.
My thoughts now forming….and ice,
the cold, cold ice still, ever growing.
I must thread carefully for he is so addictive.
The pleasure wrought upon my body and my soul.
He has no equal in provision, nor in consequence.
The pleasure seething…. seeping through the caves of ice.
As a crashing wave from within the waterfall
I crash into those caves of ice.
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Breakups

Breakups are great! Although I’m not sure everyone will agree with me on that note, seeing as how some may be seriously damaged and heartbroken…. I feel for you, I really do!

Personally I’m not much for breakups either to be honest. Don’t care for them at all!  But they are quite useful sometimes. Some of you might say, as useful as a splinter under your nail!

At a certain point in any relationship, we get so used to the idea that it has to go a certain way that, we actually forget to live said relationship.  And when we forget to live it, we then start to perceive it, and hence a lot of disillusionment happens!

We are so used to relationship being defined as: “boy meets girl/ girl meets boy or boy meets boy and girl meets girl etc…” The two date for a bit, then fall in love, then have sex. Sometime later they then proceed to get engaged, get a house/apartment, get married, have lots of babies, live happily ever after and die with a million grand kids and great-grand-kids surrounding them, and… with a smile on their face as they go out the door feet first! Or so it has been generally depicted in all these wonderful stories that we hear from most our parents and grandparents. Let’s not forget the social media and Hollywood and other production companies!

N.B The above may not necessarily go in the said outlined order but you get the gist of the fairy tale scenario…

In short we have all been duped! From same sex marriage (not even going there on this post) to happily ever afters and “the one”!

Here’s something I learned recently:

Life isn’t fair – so stop complaining – I tried….it didn’t work. hell I event prayed! It’s as useful as waiting for the rain in a really damned season of drought!

Relationships don’t work how you think they will – stop thinking about the pretty picture you’ve just built for yourself and start living the actual relationship! Be present in the moment! Stop thinking about what a nice rock he/she will put on your finger! Stop thinking about the house and picket fence. Those things, believe it or not, will come naturally if it’s good going!

Don’t preach to your friends on what to do if they have a fight with their significant other- tell them to cool the jets and sort it out! Everything is solvable as long as they talk to each other and if it’s still not cool then maybe they shouldn’t be together…

Rarely few of us can put up our hand and say that we have done it all to try and make it successful… But I can. I tried and tried, and tried, very hard in fact but, the other person didn’t ….and wasn’t prepared to, and didn’t feel like doing because his heart wasn’t in it.  Don’t get me wrong he was in love in a way but, he wasn’t prepared to admit and submit to said love but, I did.  And although he did try his best we just didn’t work out for completely illogical reasons because, other than the above, we were perfect in every way. But we can only take so many punches in life before we can’t take any more shit from anyone else, love or no love! Hell he was nuts for even entertaining me and i was stubborn and determined that he would. But hey, at least we tried 😉 with a lot of persistence!  And that’s what I mean about living the said relationship.

Personally it’s hard for me to even get one!  I run several companies and wok full time every week if not practically every day! Not to mention I’ve kids so….automatically it apparently makes me high maintenance! And yet they have no idea how easy going I am!

Currently most of the time all I really want to do is just go far far away somewhere into hot climates, wear a bikini and just lie on the beach waiting for the proverbial “Adonis” to walk by and say “😏 How you doin?  But then again that wouldn’t work so well either! I wouldn’t bloody see him after that! Call it the holliers nookie so they do!

So I have decided to stop having committed relationships as we perceive them, for a while at least, and start practicing being single and should someone come along… Just be present and enjoy their company, hell get laid if you need to (safely) but, enjoy the company and some different wisdom from all around you, because people rarely tell you things that aren’t worthwhile listening…. Well mostly. Some are just downright BS blowing their own horn! But I’m  sure in time we can distinguish most of them within a 5 minute conversation if not a 5 mile radius! In the meantime I got insight into self-discovery road. And I am going to take that road align it with my current one and hell maybe even enjoy my life! I work hard enough – I should at least take a little for myself 😉

And so should we all methinks!

Ciao!

 

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Pain – The driving force behind living!

Pain is a funny thing. Even when you think you have had enough to claim full immunity… Someone is going to come along and decide otherwise!

Personally Pain is something that I am all too familiar with! We go a loong way back…

It has been my closest friend and my worst enemy. My guiding light and the overbearing darkness… How can it be you will ask…

In the beginning pain is something that we perceive as being unpleasant but, when you get used to it due to it’s annoying nature of re occurrence, it becomes almost like a limb you cannot remove. And whilst it’s absolutely driving you insane and into utter depression it can also enlighten you.  Pain is something that can come along sometimes just to humble us in real life so we don’t get too big a head.  So we don’t forget to remember that we are not supernatural but, rather very much human and fairly tiny considering the grand scheme of things…. ya know?!

There’s the physical Pain – definitely reminds us that we are not made of Steel or Titanium! Rather the mushy soft stuff that has thousands of nerve endings that will tell you – You’re Not Iron Man!!!

There’s the emotional Pain – this type definitely reminds us that we seriously need to be kind to one another or else we shall all become very much like savages from Alien V.S. Predator! Hell even Alien had more emotion and, might I add some courage and class!

Then there’s also the – “Soul Deep Pain”. A type of pain that makes us all confused about who we are, where we’re going and what we’re doing… It’s almost strange… like a stick in the road that punctures our tire and send us off into a free-spin down the ravine!

All three are horrible but SDP just happens to be how I’m feeling right now.

All because of one or two people that decided to be absolute assholes and F*CK You Up Big Time! And I really don’t care how sorry they are, or how messed up the circumstances were! We are human beings and while messing up once in a while is OK, fucking up someones life and destroying their family is so Not!!!

I had my shit together! I knew where I was going and what I was doing and how I was going to get there! But this B**CH comes along and pretends to be your friend and then screws up your and your family’s life just because she was fucking deranged at that moment in time?!

A lot of you might say that i shouldn’t be writing this but, hell i gotta vent somewhere and this is ideal! At least by my standards!

I have had 3 rather strong whiskeys and would rather really go to bed but, before I sign off.

if you do get hurt regardless by who and in what way… take it, accept it and be a better person for it and that’s, how Pain can become your closest fried….

Anyhow that’s just my ramblings…

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Writing This Blog!

Alrighty then! (this probably should be followed by Jim Carrey’s face in Ace Ventura – The Pet detective XD)

So it has been 14 days since my last post… WOW!

You know they never tell you that writing a blog isn’t as easy as it sounds or looks!

In fact it is seriously hard! I mean People!!! What on earth?!

Customize this, widget that, HTML the proverbial C***P out of it! I even got a book…. “How to Blog Made Easy” by Richard N. Williams – I’m sure it’s very helpful when you have the time to read a lot of what looks like CSS code upside down in Arabic…. especially when you have a busy schedule!… That is of course right next to my “Idiots Guide to Organizing your Life” by Cindy Aldred – who, I swear to God, is like Martha Stewart on Speed and Duracell in the world of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from Hell!

I mean don’t get me wrong! I have OCD!! But… this woman is taking it on to the next level and telling us, the busy moms, and business people that we can do this picture perfect crap ourselves and without professional help. Well WE CAN’T! We need a shrink to make sense of the mess in our brain so we can use it to function in a world filled with human beings that actually live in a de-cluttered but, still somewhat full of stuff, home that they actually love! Whereas I just HATE mine!

I’ve to pick up after mostly all even though my legs barely work. Especially after a full nights work! I mean that’s insane! Never mind laundry that has been piling up on top of the washer (all belonging to me btw) and the bags and bags of proverbial crap that i have to go through and throw out because i probably don’t even need the half of it!

I don’t wanna look like Morticia Adams in the middle of Summer in Black nor do I purposely require the stench of the sweat that will be pouring off of me in said instance!  I’m not even getting into taking out summer stuff to switch with winter crap, that is all over my wardrobe! and guess what?! I have 16 items in said wardrobe that I actually wear too! SO like any good diligent student i read the “Idiots guide” and quite frankly realized, I’m not the idiot, about 3 pages in… she’s the idiot if she thinks that i have time or resources to devote purely to organise the place when: “forgive me dear Cyndy…” you have a screw, in that OCD brain of yours, missing somewhere – however if you do run a “home tidy-up services” and building the wonderful things you have in that book – be my guest I’ll pay you!!!

Then came stereotypical Mills & Boon Novels – Both Sexy, amazing, intriguing and just mouthwatering delicious to read! Word of warning for younger crowd – Judy Devereux is who you want to read as your introduction to dirty books. And if you try it in real life. ..DON’T, it never works out the way you think it will!

And the best after that was, because anyone reading Mills & Boon Novels will concur, the brains turns to mush.  So you need some sharpening of said minf so whip out none other than……..drummmrollll please!  “The Aptitude Test workbooks” with over 400 puzzles and all by a really fucked up genius Saint Jim Barrett, god bless you my friend!

Following which, I then pick up a decent really cool and funny and, most amazing book that is out of this planet, was actually helpful and made me happy!

I introduce to you the one and only Rachel Hoffman! and”Unf*uck Your Habitat” “You’re Better Than Your Mess.” Funny and ludicrously hilarious! The one book that is guaranteed to change your life and if not…. At least entertain you for a long while 😉

 

Lunacy Introductions

Prozac and my other good friends!

So you’re probably wondering why? Why on earth would this be the last day of your life?

Because here we learn some cold hard truth’s about life and many sides of it, happy and sad so if you’re depressed you’re more than welcome to get on Prozac with me and take this happy journey down the rabbit hole! Good thing about Prozac is – you can wet yourself in public and have a full pardon for it too! XD

Another Great thing about Prozac is his teammate diazepam! However if you’re in need for sleep Zipro is your best friend ever! And this is coming from an utterly deranged loon who tried them all, thanks to life and it’s mysterious ways.

Stay Tuned….