Breakups are great! Although I’m not sure everyone will agree with me on that note, seeing as how some may be seriously damaged and heartbroken…. I feel for you, I really do!
Personally I’m not much for breakups either to be honest. Don’t care for them at all! But they are quite useful sometimes. Some of you might say, as useful as a splinter under your nail!
At a certain point in any relationship, we get so used to the idea that it has to go a certain way that, we actually forget to live said relationship. And when we forget to live it, we then start to perceive it, and hence a lot of disillusionment happens!
We are so used to relationship being defined as: “boy meets girl/ girl meets boy or boy meets boy and girl meets girl etc…” The two date for a bit, then fall in love, then have sex. Sometime later they then proceed to get engaged, get a house/apartment, get married, have lots of babies, live happily ever after and die with a million grand kids and great-grand-kids surrounding them, and… with a smile on their face as they go out the door feet first! Or so it has been generally depicted in all these wonderful stories that we hear from most our parents and grandparents. Let’s not forget the social media and Hollywood and other production companies!
N.B The above may not necessarily go in the said outlined order but you get the gist of the fairy tale scenario…
In short we have all been duped! From same sex marriage (not even going there on this post) to happily ever afters and “the one”!
Here’s something I learned recently:
Life isn’t fair – so stop complaining – I tried….it didn’t work. hell I event prayed! It’s as useful as waiting for the rain in a really damned season of drought!
Relationships don’t work how you think they will – stop thinking about the pretty picture you’ve just built for yourself and start living the actual relationship! Be present in the moment! Stop thinking about what a nice rock he/she will put on your finger! Stop thinking about the house and picket fence. Those things, believe it or not, will come naturally if it’s good going!
Don’t preach to your friends on what to do if they have a fight with their significant other- tell them to cool the jets and sort it out! Everything is solvable as long as they talk to each other and if it’s still not cool then maybe they shouldn’t be together…
Rarely few of us can put up our hand and say that we have done it all to try and make it successful… But I can. I tried and tried, and tried, very hard in fact but, the other person didn’t ….and wasn’t prepared to, and didn’t feel like doing because his heart wasn’t in it. Don’t get me wrong he was in love in a way but, he wasn’t prepared to admit and submit to said love but, I did. And although he did try his best we just didn’t work out for completely illogical reasons because, other than the above, we were perfect in every way. But we can only take so many punches in life before we can’t take any more shit from anyone else, love or no love! Hell he was nuts for even entertaining me and i was stubborn and determined that he would. But hey, at least we tried 😉 with a lot of persistence! And that’s what I mean about living the said relationship.
Personally it’s hard for me to even get one! I run several companies and wok full time every week if not practically every day! Not to mention I’ve kids so….automatically it apparently makes me high maintenance! And yet they have no idea how easy going I am!
Currently most of the time all I really want to do is just go far far away somewhere into hot climates, wear a bikini and just lie on the beach waiting for the proverbial “Adonis” to walk by and say “😏 How you doin? But then again that wouldn’t work so well either! I wouldn’t bloody see him after that! Call it the holliers nookie so they do!
So I have decided to stop having committed relationships as we perceive them, for a while at least, and start practicing being single and should someone come along… Just be present and enjoy their company, hell get laid if you need to (safely) but, enjoy the company and some different wisdom from all around you, because people rarely tell you things that aren’t worthwhile listening…. Well mostly. Some are just downright BS blowing their own horn! But I’m sure in time we can distinguish most of them within a 5 minute conversation if not a 5 mile radius! In the meantime I got insight into self-discovery road. And I am going to take that road align it with my current one and hell maybe even enjoy my life! I work hard enough – I should at least take a little for myself 😉
And so should we all methinks!